The Cowards of the Republican Party

 Election Day 2024 - Ron Desantis is elected President, with a healthy 330-208 margin in the Electoral College and an impressive showing in the popular vote only trailing about 2 million votes to the Democratic candidate. Republicans have also inexplicably gained supermajorities in both the House and Senate giving President-elect Desantis a tremendous mandate and ability to shape the country in his image. 

2025 - President Desantis has used his majority in Congress to great effect in his first year passing a nationwide ban on the teaching of CRT as well as a ban on Transgender individuals competing in sports that do not match their biological sex. His first year in office is marked by a harmonious relationship with Congress and an extended honeymoon period which sees his approval rating stay above 50 percent the entire year. This is the year Mitch McConnell was discovered to have died in 2015, his ghost subsequently won the special election Kentucky called after the announcement of his death. 

2026 - This was a year marked by an incredible result in the midterm elections in which Gen Z voters turned out in droves for a Democratic wave that saw the Democrats retake the House and several key Senate seats. Despite this, there were some Desantis victories including negotiating a peace settlement in Ukraine as well as the Supreme Court upholding his controversial executive order banning Tiktok as a national security threat. Congress passes Harvey Milk day as a national holiday and although President Desantis threatened to veto it, it quickly became clear that there was enough Republican votes to override it, when questioned on the gay rights icon the President simply released a statement that included the phrase "settled law" a record 33 times. 

2027 - Economic slowdown and horrible inflation take their toll on President Desantis' approval ratings, his solution, which is to push for working class tax cuts is thwarted by the fact that the working class pay very little in taxes. His plan to balance the budget is to implement a "woke tax" on corporations that espouse progressive policies, this is defeated in Congress by a coalition of Democrats and Corporate Republicans but ironically supported by Bernie Sanders who couldn't resist taxing a corporation. 

2028 - President Desantis is defeated by the Democratic challenger, by a blowout because all of the Republicans died from all the blood rushing to their collective GOPenis when President Desantis declared the war on woke to be won from the Oval Office when he stated Men were not Women. The new Democratic President swiftly undoes all of Desantis' key legislation as the country is submerged by the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans drowning under the weight of its progressive moral superiority. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why be a Jacobite?

Image
    Be warned that to be a Jacobite is a lonely existence, there are no jubilees or the commemorative merchandise that characterizes monarchies in the 21st century. There is but only a wistfulness to what might have been and a tiny hope that the true cause might be fulfilled. A good question to start with would be "What does a Jacobite believe in?", to put it simply we are monarchists generally from the anglosphere and paradoxically at least a plurality seem to be American although no in depth study has ever been concluded. What separates us is that we hold that in 1688 in the so called "Glorious Revolution" James II the king of England, was illegally overthrown by the Parliament and usurped by his daughter and son in law, also illegally. And because Parliament has no right to dethrone a reigning monarch, James II and his heirs are the true sovereigns of England, Scotland and Ireland. This also means by extension that the line of rulers since this usurpation is ille...
Read more

The Silent Death of the Death Penalty

     There has been a silent shift among Catholics and maybe even conservatives more broadly on the question of the death penalty. While the death penalty had been a contentious issue in the 70s and 80s with Michael Dukakis having sunk his campaign with not answering YES! unequivocally when asked in a debate on whether he would favor its use in the circumstance of his wife being raped and killed, and then saying that that's why grieving family members shouldn't be in charge of the legal system. The Death Penalty is now one of those supplementary issues ranking somewhere between nuclear arms reduction and environmental conservation, all important issues yes, but issues that have fallen away from the public consciousness.        I have found, however, that there is a new talk of the death penalty less of an actual debate about the issue itself but more of a supplementary rhetorical device when someone is debating abortion. A progressive might say t...
Read more

The Tale of An American Monarchist Part One

Image
       Monarchism did not come naturally to me or any other American Monarchist I suspect; the concept was there, and it wasn’t. It was King Arthur and his Knights; it was Shakespeare, it was something foreign, European in a way that didn’t make sense to our way of life. I was always some sort of conservative even as a youth, but I could never answer that philosophical question of what was conservatism? Was it to conserve something in society in policy? A way of life? Conservatism in 1950 obviously did not look the same as conservatism in 2010 so what then? Was I defending a temperament toward slow and incremental change in society or was I defending actual policy decisions, and if I believed the former the latter couldn’t possibly be true.        Let’s take something like same-sex marriage for example, now that it is the law of the land am I supposed to defend it from the perspective of the institutional conservative? If you look at polling ...
Read more